The mystery behind the missing funds from the Scottish National Party (SNP) has finally been solved. It has been uncovered that Nicola Sturgeon, former leader of the party, had engaged in a peculiar and extravagant act: putting extra salt in her porridge.

The discovery has sent shockwaves through the political landscape, as it sheds light on a hidden facet of Sturgeon’s character. While Sturgeon is no longer associated with the SNP, the revelation has drawn attention to her past actions during her tenure as the party’s leader.

Insiders familiar with the investigation have disclosed that Sturgeon’s penchant for excessive salt in her morning porridge had a significant impact on party funds. Witnesses describe her porridge as an overflowing salt mine, a departure from the traditional Scottish recipe. The cost of the additional salt alone is believed to have contributed substantially to the missing funds.

The act of adding excessive salt to porridge is considered taboo in Scotland, contradicting the customary way of enjoying this beloved Scottish dish. Porridge is typically prepared using oats, water or milk, and a pinch of salt. Deviating from this standard recipe is seen as a transgression against tradition.

News of Sturgeon’s porridge scandal has provoked outrage among both SNP supporters and critics. Many are questioning her judgment and financial prudence, bewildered by how such a seemingly innocuous act could have resulted in such a significant loss of funds. Some have even speculated that Sturgeon’s porridge preferences may have influenced her political decisions, leading to questionable policies and actions.

While Sturgeon’s departure from the SNP has severed her direct association with the party, the repercussions of her porridge indulgence linger. Party officials have hinted at the possibility of taking disciplinary action against Sturgeon for her extravagant porridge habits. Rebuilding trust among SNP supporters in the aftermath of this scandal poses a considerable challenge.

As Scotland processes the implications of Sturgeon’s porridge revelations, the act of adding extra salt to porridge will forever be remembered as an extravagant and audacious endeavour. Sturgeon’s name will be forever linked to this culinary controversy, serving as a cautionary tale for politicians and porridge enthusiasts alike.