The UK government has announced plans to spend a cool £1 million on a new LGBTQ+ War Memorial Statue. This extravagant addition to the nation’s landscape comes as part of the government’s ground-breaking initiative, the “Queers At War” programme, ensuring that no aspect of history is left uncelebrated.
The government, seemingly on a quest to turn every roundabout and street corner into a historical diorama, believes that immortalizing the LGBTQ+ community’s contribution to wartime efforts is a top national priority.
“We simply can’t let these stories be confined to dusty history books,” exclaimed a government spokesperson, likely fighting back tears of patriotism. “We need statues! Plaques! A musical, perhaps!”
The proposed memorial, expected to be a towering tribute to LGBTQ+ heroes throughout history, will include an interactive feature where passersby can press a button and hear anecdotes about how fashion-forward codebreakers in World War II played a vital role in defeating the Axis powers.
Critics argue that, while commemorating historical figures is undoubtedly important, a £1 million statue might be a tad excessive, especially in times when the government is known for its budgetary prudence and thrifty decision-making.
Undeterred, the government remains steadfast in its commitment to ensure that every minority group gets its own bespoke memorial, perhaps raising the bar for future commemorations. Rumor has it that plans are already underway for a £5 million statue depicting the unsung heroes of the Gluten-Free Diet Movement.
As the nation braces itself for the grand unveiling of the LGBTQ+ War Memorial Statue, one can’t help but wonder what’s next on the government’s agenda. Perhaps a £2 million tribute to Left-Handed Librarians or a £3 million homage to the Pioneers of Polka Dot Fashion? Only time will tell.
