Rishi Sunak was spotted in his private residence calling upon his digital assistant, Alexa, for some urgent political guidance. The tech-savvy former Chancellor, now faced with the daunting task of appointing a new Shadow Cabinet, seemed to need a little refresher on the basics.
“Alexa, what is a conservative?” Sunak was overheard asking, causing eyebrows to raise and snickers to ripple through Westminster.
According to sources close to Sunak, the pint-sized politico has been grappling with the task of navigating the current political landscape, where traditional conservative values have become as elusive as a Wi-Fi signal in the House of Commons.
“It’s understandable, really,” said a close aide, who preferred to remain anonymous. “When you’re trying to balance the demands of a modern, diverse electorate with the expectations of the old guard, sometimes you just need a bit of help from Amazon.”
Alexa, in her ever-helpful monotone, reportedly provided a concise definition: “Conservatism is a political philosophy that promotes retaining traditional social institutions and values, emphasizing free enterprise, private ownership, and socially conservative ideas.”
Sunak’s next move, however, raised further questions. “Alexa, what is ‘socially conservative’?” he asked, prompting a long pause from the device, which appeared to be buffering its response.
Meanwhile, political analysts have been quick to weigh in on Sunak’s high-tech approach to policy-making. “It’s innovative, I’ll give him that,” said one commentator. “But it does make you wonder if he’s also asking Siri for advice on economic policy.”
Critics from across the aisle have pounced on the incident. “If Sunak needs Alexa to understand conservatism, we’re in bigger trouble than we thought,” quipped a Labour MP. “What’s next? Asking Google Maps how to navigate Brexit?”
As the nation waits to see who will make the cut in the new Shadow Cabinet, one thing is clear: Rishi Sunak’s approach to leadership is nothing if not modern. Whether his reliance on digital assistants will lead to a stronger, more cohesive Conservative Party remains to be seen.
In the meantime, rumors abound that Sunak has set a new precedent, with MPs now frequently heard saying, “Let me consult my Alexa” before making any major decisions. After all, in the digital age, even the oldest institutions must evolve.
For now, the Conservative Party—and the country—can only watch and wait to see if Alexa’s guidance will indeed steer Sunak to political clarity or just add another layer to the nation’s growing list of political oddities.
