COVID-19 has sought guidance from ’90s rap sensation MC Hammer on navigating the treacherous path of being a one-hit wonder. The virus, known for its smash hit “Global Pandemic,” is struggling to find its footing in a world that has swiftly moved on.

MC Hammer, renowned for his hit “U Can’t Touch This,” reportedly sat down with COVID for a heart-to-heart counseling session. “I get it, man. Being a one-hit wonder is tough. You’re on top of the world one minute, and the next, people are like, ‘COVID who?'” explained the rapper.

The counseling session, held in an undisclosed location (definitely not a Wuhan wet market), involved a mix of sympathetic nods and some awkward dance moves. Sources say MC Hammer even attempted to teach COVID a few signature steps to distract people from its diminishing influence.

COVID, feeling the weight of its fleeting fame, expressed gratitude for the guidance. “It’s tough out here, you know? One day you’re causing global havoc, and the next, you’re just a forgotten virus in the virology textbooks.”

MC Hammer, in his infinite wisdom, reportedly advised COVID to embrace the legacy of its one big hit and explore new career paths. “Maybe try your hand at a different kind of contagion, like spreading positivity. Can’t infect this!” he quipped.

As news of this unlikely collaboration spread, some critics questioned the appropriateness of turning a pandemic into a punchline. Meanwhile, others marveled at the sheer absurdity of a virus seeking life advice from a rapper famous for parachute pants.

Only time will tell if COVID takes MC Hammer’s advice to heart and manages to reinvent itself. Perhaps we’ll soon see it collaborating with Vanilla Ice for a “Cold as Ice” remix. Can’t stop the infectious beats!