Prince Harry is reportedly furious that phone hackers have beaten him to the punch by revealing his deepest secrets before he could cash in on them with a tell-all book. The royal is said to be disappointed that his personal revelations are now available for free when he had grand plans of monetizing his life story.

Sources close to the disgruntled prince claim that he had an entire marketing strategy laid out for his forthcoming literary masterpiece. “He was going to drop bombshells, one chapter at a time, each coinciding with a carefully orchestrated media frenzy,” confided an insider. “Now, it seems the hackers have stolen his thunder, not to mention his potential book sales.”

The palace, while not officially commenting on the matter, is rumored to be in a state of bewilderment. “We were anticipating a literary tour de force, complete with carefully crafted narratives about royal life and how tough it is to be fabulously wealthy,” a palace spokesperson may or may not have said.

Prince Harry, who had been looking forward to regaling the masses with tales of the struggles of royal existence, is now left contemplating how to spin his stories in a way that hasn’t already been scooped by those pesky hackers.

While the identity of the phone hackers remains unknown, the prince is reportedly hiring a team of cybersecurity experts to ensure that any future revelations are kept under wraps until he’s ready to unveil them in exchange for a hefty book advance.

As the saga unfolds, royal enthusiasts are left wondering if Prince Harry’s literary aspirations will ever recover from this unforeseen plot twist. Only time will tell if his secrets will once again be solely in his control or if he’ll need to come up with an entirely new strategy for turning his royal woes into literary gold.