Tall People Ordered To Wear “Wind Turbine Hats” To Power Mobile Phones
Climate Czar: “It’s important we all do our bit in the Climate Emergency”.
BBC Director-General Joins Andrew Tate’s ‘War Room’
‘I was a massive dork till I met the Top G, now I own two Bugattis and some nunchucks,’ says Tim Davie.
Dog Owners Encouraged To Use Gender-Neutral Pronouns For Pets
“Here, boy,” and “man’s best friend” deemed “outdated stereotypes” by pet inclusivity activists.
Net Zero Campaigners “Shocked And Appalled” Public Don’t Want To Be Poorer, Colder And Hungrier
“Until people stop eating, staying warm or driving to work, humanity is doomed!”
World’s Hottest-Ever Temperature Recorded At Erupting Volcano “Proof Of Climate Change”
“The lava wasn’t to blame – fossil fuel emissions were,” claims WEF scientist.
Gavin Newsom Feeding Off Biden’s Remaining Life Force
“As Biden grows weaker, Newsom grows stronger. Literally. He is feeding off his soul” – White House spokesman.
Extinction Rebellion Protest Carrie Johnson’s Womb
“Children cause climate change, and Carrie is simply having too many”.
“Cheers, Queers!” London Pub “Will Only Hire LGBTQ+ Staff”
“It’s important for diversity that we ban straight applicants,” says landlord Ben Doon.
New “Fart Tax” For Red Meat Eaters Touted By Climate Change Czar
“Anal emissions from carnivores” identified as “key driver” of climate change.
Gary Lineker’s Fury As British Airways Seats Him “On The Right Wing”
“I reject the Right Wing in all its guises. Even in my First Class private suite”
