Educators have decided to introduce a new book into the curriculum titled “My First Jihad” for primary school children. The decision, hailed as a bold step toward cultural understanding, aims to instil in young minds the art of conflict resolution… or at least, that’s what they say.

The brightly illustrated book follows the adventures of little Ahmed, who, armed with crayons and a profound understanding of geopolitical complexities, embarks on his very own “Jihad” – a term that, in the context of this book, apparently means bringing peace, love, and gluten-free snacks to all corners of the globe.

“We wanted to teach kids about diverse perspectives,” explained the school principal, who may or may not have read the book before approving it. “What better way than a heartwarming tale of a child’s journey to spread goodwill and maybe some hummus?”

The book reportedly includes chapters such as “Coloring Outside the Lines and International Borders” and “How to Turn a Timeout into a Truce.” Critics, however, argue that introducing terms with complex historical and geopolitical implications to primary school children might be a tad premature.

“I just wanted my kid to learn to tie their shoelaces, not about global diplomacy,” lamented one bewildered parent.

As parents and educators attempt to navigate this literary minefield, only time will tell if “My First Jihad” will be a riveting success or if it will go down in history as the book that sparked an unexpected PTA meeting.