In a stunning revelation that might make even the most dedicated tofu enthusiast raise an eyebrow, local vegan activist Tofu Terry has declared his true motivation behind the Vegan Meat Tax campaign: a deep-seated desire to spread misery among carnivores.
Terry, known for his kale-themed protest signs and the occasional public tofu-sculpting demonstration, sat down with our reporter for an exclusive interview. “Look, it’s not about the environment, health, or animal rights. Frankly, I just want everyone to experience the unique joylessness that comes with a life without bacon,” Terry confessed.
The Vegan Meat Tax campaign, which proposes imposing hefty fines on any citizen caught red-handed with a steak or a burger, has drawn criticism from meat lovers and even some moderate vegetarians. Terry, undeterred by the backlash, explained his rationale. “I used to be one of them—smiling at barbecues, enjoying the succulence of a medium-rare steak. Then, I discovered the misery of a meatless existence, and I thought, why should I be the only one suffering?”
When asked about the potential economic impact of his proposed tax, Terry chuckled, “Oh, it’s not about the money. It’s about leveling the playing field of despair. Let them pay for their carnivorous crimes and taste the blandness of a tofu scramble on a Sunday morning.”
Critics argue that Terry’s approach might not be the most effective way to promote veganism. Some have even suggested that forcing people into plant-based diets through punitive measures could backfire, creating a wave of underground barbecue clubs and bacon speakeasies.
In response to such concerns, Terry simply shrugged and muttered, “Let them eat tofu.”
As the Vegan Meat Tax campaign gains traction, one thing is clear: Tofu Terry is determined to spread his unique brand of misery, one overcooked veggie burger at a time.
