Lawmakers have announced ground-breaking anti-hate legislation that will criminalize the age-old pub game ‘Cliff, Marry, Shag.’ The game, known for its harmless banter and good-natured ribbing, is now under threat as authorities aim to crack down on what they deem “potentially offensive hypothetical scenarios.”

The proposed law, dubbed the “Love Harmony Act,” aims to shield unsuspecting individuals from the horrors of being hypothetically thrown off cliffs, forcibly wed, or… well, you get the idea. “It’s about time we put an end to this dangerous game that promotes wild imagination and potentially hurtful choices,” declared a stern-faced politician during the announcement.

Critics argue that this legislation is yet another example of the government overstepping its bounds in the pursuit of political correctness. “What’s next, criminalizing hypothetical debates about who’d win in a fight between a hundred duck-sized horses and one horse-sized duck?” quipped a satirical pundit.

The new law will come complete with a specialized task force equipped with meme-sniffing dogs and hypothetical crime scene tape to ensure that no pub, bar, or establishment becomes a breeding ground for the heinous crime of imaginative banter. In an unexpected twist, playing ‘Cliff, Marry, Shag’ in the comfort of one’s own home may also fall under scrutiny, with officials warning that privacy curtains are not an impenetrable defense against the thought police.

As the nation grapples with this unprecedented move, some defiant pub-goers are already planning ‘Free the Banter’ protests, armed with cardboard cut-outs of fictional characters in compromising positions. It seems the battle between common sense and the hypothetical crime wave is just getting started.