Local progressive and self-proclaimed advocate for equality, Gary Leftington, found himself in a moral quandary as he contemplated whether to support the women’s football team. His primary concern? The alarming lack of male genitalia among the players.

Leftington, a fervent supporter of gender inclusivity, was reportedly seen staring pensively at the team roster, muttering, “How can I wholeheartedly back a squad that doesn’t accurately represent the full spectrum of human anatomy?”

Friends expressed their confusion at Leftington’s predicament. “I thought he was all for empowering women in sports,” said one acquaintance. “But I guess that empowerment comes with a certain, uh, appendage requirement.”

In a candid interview, Leftington shared his internal struggle. “I’ve dedicated my life to progressive causes, but this? This is a real head-scratcher. How can I champion gender equality when the team is so blatantly lacking in… diversity?”

In a desperate attempt to reconcile his principles, Leftington considered proposing a rule change that would require at least a token representation of male players on women’s teams. “Just a sprinkle of testosterone, you know, for the sake of inclusivity,” he mused.

As the women’s football team continued their stellar performance on the field, oblivious to Leftington’s existential crisis, the progressive champion vowed to find a solution to this unprecedented dilemma. Perhaps a petition for gender-neutral locker rooms or an insistence on a 50-50 ratio of male to female players in all sports?

In the grand tradition of wrestling with moral quandaries, Gary Leftington’s struggle to support women’s football without the comforting presence of male anatomy serves as a poignant reminder that even the most ardent advocates can find themselves in a tight spot when principles clash with, well, certain anatomical realities.