Reports are emerging that desperate Tories have hatched a cunning plan to address the Channel migrant crisis – by releasing hundreds of Great White sharks into the waters. Yes, you read that right; sharks are apparently the latest weapon in the Conservative arsenal against illegal crossings.

The mastermind behind this aquatic strategy, who wishes to remain anonymous, claims that the majestic predators will deter would-be migrants from attempting the perilous journey. “It’s simple psychology,” said the mysterious strategist. “Nobody wants to share the sea with a Great White. It’s the ultimate deterrent.”

While the plan might sound like something out of a B-movie plot, supporters argue that it’s a creative and cost-effective solution. “Why build walls when you can unleash nature’s own border patrol?” remarked one enthusiastic Tory.

Critics, however, are calling the move “fishy” at best. Marine biologists are particularly concerned about the ecological impact, wondering whether sharks equipped with Brexit sentiments might inadvertently trigger a marine referendum.

The announcement has sparked a heated debate on social media, with memes of sharks wearing Union Jack hats circulating faster than a school of fish sensing danger.

As the Tories prepare to implement their jaw-dropping plan, only time will tell whether this innovative approach will be a stroke of genius or just another twist in the turbulent waters of British politics. After all, in the world of politics, stranger things have happened – but having sharks patrol borders might just take the biscuit.