Authorities have decided to ban women from participating in women’s combat sports. The decision, hailed as a victory for… well, no one is quite sure, has sent shockwaves through the world of mixed-up martial arts.

“We realized that the only way to achieve true equality is to eliminate the possibility of women competing against other women,” declared the spokesperson for the puzzling policy change. “It’s a revolutionary step toward leveling the playing field, or octagon in this case.”

The new regulation, which some critics are affectionately calling “Opposite Day Rules,” is purportedly aimed at creating fairness by ensuring that women won’t be pitted against each other in combat sports. Because what says equality more than banning women from something specifically designed for them?

“We’re living in the golden age of contradictions,” said a bewildered sports commentator. “I guess soon we’ll see a ban on men entering men’s barber shops. It’s a wild world out there.”

The move has sparked both confusion and amusement in the world of combat sports. Female athletes, who trained for years to compete against other women, are now left grappling with the unexpected twist that has turned their sports world upside down.

“It’s like preparing for a chess match and finding out you’re playing checkers underwater while juggling flaming torches,” remarked one perplexed fighter.

While the intention behind the ban remains a bit of a head-scratcher, the sports world is bracing itself for even more avant-garde decisions in the name of equality. Because, in this upside-down realm of logic, the best way to promote fairness might just be to ban everything entirely.