Members of Parliament have announced a bold new sartorial choice: rainbow-coloured stab-proof vests. Because what better way to face the challenges of modern politics than with a vest that says, “I’m protected, and I support diversity”?

The MPs, in a press conference that could only be described as a runway show for the safety-conscious elite, paraded their vibrant new vests adorned with rainbows. One might assume they’ve mistaken the House of Commons for a pride parade, but no, this is the avant-garde of political protection.

“We believe in safety for all, and what better way to show it than with a stab-proof vest that screams inclusion?” said one MP while adjusting the fitting of their indigo-and-violet vest.

These technicolour tactical garments are not just a fashion statement; they’re a symbol of unity, or at least that’s what the MPs hope as they prepare to face the sharp edges of both political dissent and, apparently, potential physical threats.

The decision has left many constituents wondering if rainbow stab-proof vests will become standard office wear in other professions. “I work in accounting; can I get one to make my spreadsheets feel more inclusive?” asked one confused taxpayer.

While some applaud the MPs for their commitment to safety and representation, others question the practicality of donning a vest that might clash with their ties or undermine the seriousness of parliamentary proceedings.

As these colourful vests become the hot topic in Westminster, we can only wonder what other fashion-forward safety measures our elected officials might adopt next. Perhaps neon-coloured gas masks for those intense debates or sequined hard hats for when the political discourse gets a bit too heated? The possibilities are as endless as the rainbow itself.