A self-proclaimed open-border advocate is having a crisis of space and sanity after forking out a whopping £2000 per month for a room that’s so cozy, you can change the light bulb without taking a step.
Gregory Thompson, a fervent liberal with dreams as big as his rent bill, was overheard questioning the merits of open borders from the comfort of his shoebox-sized abode. “I thought open borders would bring us all together in a utopian co-living situation. Little did I know it meant I’d have to share my studio apartment with four other people,” Thompson lamented.
Thompson, who once championed the idea of tearing down walls both metaphorical and literal, has now reconsidered his stance as he navigates the treacherous terrain of limited personal space. “I mean, I’m all for communal living, but I didn’t think I’d be living in a human game of Tetris,” he confessed, peering into the abyss that is his living room.
Friends and neighbors are reportedly shocked at the revelation, with one stating, “Who knew that advocating for open borders would eventually lead to advocating for my own borders – like, personal ones around my living room?”
The irony hasn’t been lost on conservative circles, who are relishing the moment with a mix of bemusement and “we told you so” smirks. “Welcome to the reality the rest of us have been living in,” chuckled one conservative commentator. “It turns out utopias don’t come cheap, especially in square footage.”
As Thompson contemplates the implications of his newfound spatial constraints, the rest of us can’t help but wonder if the quest for open borders should perhaps begin with securing a little personal space first.
