In a stunning display of cunning, vandals and graffiti artists across the country have begun carrying “Just Stop Oil” business cards to evade prosecution for their crimes.
According to sources close to the perpetrators, the cards serve as a sort of get-out-of-jail-free pass, allowing them to claim affiliation with the anti-oil movement and avoid punishment for their actions.
“It’s a stroke of genius, really,” one anonymous graffiti artist boasted. “Whenever the cops catch us in the act, we just whip out one of these cards and say we’re fighting for the environment. Works like a charm every time.”
The cards reportedly feature the slogan “Just Stop Oil” along with an image of a dripping oil barrel and a list of demands, including a ban on all fossil fuels and the immediate transition to renewable energy sources.
While the cards have been successful in allowing vandals and graffiti artists to escape punishment, some environmental activists are concerned that the tactic may do more harm than good.
“This is not what the Just Stop Oil movement is about,” one activist stated. “We don’t condone illegal activities, and we certainly don’t want our message to be associated with vandalism or graffiti.”
Despite the backlash, the vandals and graffiti artists show no signs of stopping their use of the business cards, which they see as a clever way to skirt the law while promoting their cause.
“It’s a win-win,” one vandal remarked. “We get to make a statement and avoid jail time at the same time. What’s not to love?”