Universities across the nation have implemented a curious admissions policy, declaring straight white men to be an “extinct species” on campus. The decision, unveiled amidst an era of woke academia, has left many scratching their heads and questioning the ever-expanding realm of political correctness.

With a straight face, university officials explained their novel approach, stating that the move was intended to promote diversity and inclusivity, even if it came at the expense of a particular group.

“We want our campuses to be a utopia of diverse voices, where the echoes of cisgender straight white men are but a distant memory,” one administrator declared with an air of righteousness.

As news of the announcement spread, reactions ranged from bewilderment to raucous laughter. Critics questioned the validity of the “extinct species” classification, pointing out that straight white men, like all human beings, continue to exist and contribute to society in diverse ways.

Social media erupted with memes and jokes, poking fun at the absurdity of the woke logic. One popular tweet read, “BREAKING: Straight white men now considered mythical creatures. Rumor has it they frolic in meadows with unicorns and leprechauns.”

In response to the uproar, some individuals hilariously declared themselves “endangered species” and began calling for special protection and preservation measures.

Even some progressive voices, known for their commitment to inclusivity, found the announcement perplexing. “Shouldn’t we be striving for equal opportunities for all, rather than creating such bizarre divisions?” mused one activist, clearly amused by the satirical twist.

As the dust settles on this fantastical declaration, it serves as a lighthearted reminder of the ongoing debates surrounding woke culture, political correctness, and the fine line between genuine inclusivity and unintentional absurdity.

In the end, universities are likely to find that, despite their best efforts at creative admissions policies, the human spirit continues to defy classification and thrives in the face of even the most imaginative of bureaucratic hurdles. So fear not, straight white men; the world still has room for all its diverse inhabitants, no matter how fanciful some admission policies may become.