Harvard University is rumored to be entertaining the radical idea of hiring someone based solely on their merit, qualifications, and expertise. The news has sent shockwaves through the academic community, where the time-honored tradition of hiring based on a complex algorithm involving a random mix of diversity checkboxes has long been the norm.

Sources reveal that the university is considering a candidate who possesses an impressive track record of academic excellence, innovative research, and a deep commitment to advancing knowledge. However, critics argue that this potential hire lacks the essential criteria of fitting into the carefully curated matrix of intersectional representation that Harvard has perfected over the years.

“We understand the shock and confusion this might cause,” said a spokesperson for the university. “But we believe it’s time to experiment with the radical concept of hiring someone for their skills and qualifications, not just to check off diversity boxes.”

The candidate in question reportedly has a proven record of groundbreaking research, teaching excellence, and a commitment to fostering an environment of free thought – all quaint attributes that have become increasingly scarce in the world of academia.

Harvard, known for its commitment to diversity and inclusion, is now facing a dilemma: whether to embrace the heretical idea of hiring someone based on their individual achievements or to stick with the tried-and-true method of assembling a faculty that resembles a meticulously crafted mosaic of politically correct credentials.

Critics argue that hiring based on merit is a dangerous precedent that could lead to an influx of talent and ideas, potentially disrupting the carefully balanced ecosystem of echo-chamber academia.

As the academic world anxiously awaits Harvard’s decision, one thing is clear: the prospect of hiring someone ‘on merit’ is causing ripples that may disturb the delicate equilibrium of institutionalized diversity.