Political commentator and Brexiteer extraordinaire, Darren Grimes, has shockingly come out of the closet – as a Remainer. The revelation, reminiscent of a political soap opera, unfolded in a press conference where Grimes confessed his newfound love for EU bureaucracy and admitted to secretly longing for Brussels sprouts (pun intended).
“I’ve seen the light, folks. The soothing hum of EU regulations, the symphony of directives—it’s like Beethoven for bureaucrats,” Grimes declared dramatically, sporting a beret adorned with tiny EU flags.
The news sent shockwaves through the political landscape, leaving Brexiteers reeling and Remainers cautiously optimistic about this unexpected convert to the “European Way.”
Grimes, now affectionately dubbed “Darren the Europhile,” claims that a chance encounter with a croissant at a local bakery triggered an epiphany. “I realized then and there that flaky pastries and complex trade agreements go hand in hand,” he explained, dabbing away crocodile tears with a miniature Union Jack.
In a symbolic gesture, Grimes ceremoniously burned a “Take Back Control” banner, replacing it with a giant inflatable EU flag. “It’s like trading in a vintage car for a reliable, if slightly bureaucratic, European model,” he mused.
Not everyone is convinced of this political 180. Nigel Farage responded with a tweet: “Lost a good one to the dark side. I hope they have good tea in Brussels, Darren. You’ll need it!”
Grimes has already announced plans for a Eurovision-style sing-off to determine the future of the United Kingdom. “May the best ballad win,” he declared, twirling a glowstick.
In this unexpected turn of events, it seems the political stage just got a whole lot more dramatic. Whether Grimes is the first of a new wave of political converts or just orchestrating an elaborate satire of his own is yet to be seen. One thing’s for sure, though—it’s a brave new world for Darren Grimes and his once-unwavering Brexit stance.