Concerns are being raised about Lionesses’ World Cup achievements after an earth-shattering revelation: they were actually playing against women. This unexpected discovery has ignited a fervent debate about the apparent advantage women have when competing against other women, in stark contrast to the fierce competition of, say, chess grandmasters or elite underwater basket weavers.

“It’s truly a stunning revelation that these women were pitted against other women,” remarked a perplexed commentator. “Who could have anticipated that women would have the audacity to participate in a women’s competition?”

Critics are pointing out that, while the women’s football tournaments have been hailed as a triumph of athleticism, the recent revelation about the gender of the opponents has cast a long shadow on their accomplishments. Some have even gone so far as to suggest that women’s sports should be re-evaluated to see if there’s a way to make the competition even more equitable, perhaps by introducing ankle weights or blindfolds.

“Maybe they should compete against bears or ninjas to level the playing field,” mused a concerned spectator. “After all, we need to ensure that the competition is sufficiently challenging, unlike these friendly matchups against fellow women.”

As debates rage on, the revelation about England’s opponents serves as a stark reminder that the world of sports is full of surprises. Who would have thought that women, the very demographic that women’s sports are designed to include and celebrate, would actually be the ones participating? Truly, the depths of this shocking revelation are boundless, leaving us to ponder the complexities of athletic competition and the ongoing battle for gender equality in the realm of sports.