The Natwest board has found itself embroiled in a controversy that has left the nation scratching its collective head. The bank recently decided to cancel Nigel Farage’s account while allowing notorious criminal Rose West to keep hers, citing some rather unique reasoning.

In an exclusive interview, Natwest’s spokesperson, Sir Reginald Moneybags III, defended the decision, saying, “We at Natwest believe in equality and inclusivity for all our customers. It’s our duty to provide banking services to people from all walks of life, even if some of those walks may have taken a rather dark and twisted turn.”

While many were left baffled by the decision, others applauded Natwest for its commitment to non-discrimination, regardless of one’s criminal record. “It’s about time we stop judging people based on their past actions,” said one Natwest customer. “If Rose West wants to manage her finances, who are we to stand in her way?”

Farage, on the other hand, was reportedly taken aback by the decision. “I may have my political differences with some folks, but I’ve never buried them under the patio,” Farage lamented. “I thought banking was supposed to be a safe space for conservative values.”

As the Natwest-Farage scandal continues to unfold, it raises important questions about the intersection of banking and morality. In a world where financial institutions are increasingly seen as the arbiters of virtue, one can’t help but wonder what’s next on the banking agenda. Perhaps we’ll soon see the introduction of a “Criminal Accounts Matter” campaign, complete with customized credit cards featuring the faces of history’s most notorious wrongdoers. After all, in the world of banking, anything seems possible.