Mayor Sadiq Khan has announced his latest policy initiative: implementing China’s one-child policy across the city. Khan, known for his progressive stance on social issues, cited his deep concern for the environment and future generations as the driving force behind this controversial decision.

At a press conference held in front of a backdrop featuring adorable children playing with panda bears, Khan passionately declared, “It’s time we take drastic measures to save our planet. We must always think of the children and their future. That’s why I’m proud to introduce London’s very own one-child policy.”

Under the new policy, London residents will be limited to having only one child per family, with strict penalties for those who dare to defy this decree. Khan’s administration has already begun drafting legislation that will enforce these restrictions, including mandatory contraception implants for all residents and surprise home inspections to ensure compliance.

Critics have raised concerns about the potential for abuse and the violation of individual liberties. They argue that Khan’s policy not only tramples on personal freedoms but also ignores the complex factors contributing to environmental issues.

In response to these criticisms, Khan chuckled and replied, “Some people just can’t see the big picture. By limiting our population, we’ll reduce our carbon footprint and create a greener, more sustainable London. Plus, think of all the extra room we’ll have for urban gardens and bicycle lanes!”

While it remains to be seen how Londoners will react to this audacious policy, one thing is clear: Sadiq Khan is determined to lead the charge in the fight against climate change, no matter how controversial his methods may be.