A group of white anti-racists has boldly demanded the immediate dismissal of all black and BAME (Black, Asian, and Minority Ethnic) Tories from their political positions. The move, seen as a ground-breaking effort to combat inequality, has left many scratching their heads and wondering if they missed a memo on the nuances of anti-racism.

The self-proclaimed champions of justice argue that by removing black and BAME individuals from political roles, they are creating an environment where racial equality can finally flourish. “It’s a genius move, really,” said one activist, who identifies as a staunch advocate for equality while sipping a soy latte in their gentrified neighborhood.

The demands have drawn both support and confusion from various quarters. Some applaud the boldness of the proposal, believing that true progress can only be achieved by regressing into antiquated notions of racial segregation. “It’s like taking a step back to leap forward,” remarked one enthusiastic supporter, presumably unaware of the irony.

Critics, on the other hand, question the logic of firing individuals based on their race in the name of anti-racism. “It’s a bit like fighting for peace or dieting by eating more,” quipped a political commentator, struggling to make sense of the peculiar strategy.

As the debate rages on, it seems that the line between satire and reality is becoming increasingly blurred. In the surreal world of progressive demands, where irony takes a back seat, one can only wonder what ground-breaking proposal will emerge next in the name of fighting injustice. Perhaps a call for gender equality by banning women from the workplace? The possibilities are as endless as the confusion surrounding this peculiar plea for progress.