David Cameron has been officially barred from starting any more referendums. The decision, announced by a mysterious committee known only as the “Referendum Restraint Squad,” has raised eyebrows and, in some cases, a few chuckles.
Sources close to Cameron say he’s taken the news with a stiff upper lip, though the man who once rolled the dice on the fate of the United Kingdom seemed perplexed at the irony of his situation.
“I just thought I was giving the people a voice,” Cameron mused, while sipping a cup of tea and staring wistfully into the distance. “Who knew it would turn into a trend?”
The Referendum Restraint Squad issued a statement saying, “After careful consideration, we’ve decided that the ‘Cameron Gambit,’ as we affectionately call it, should not become a national pastime. It’s all fun and games until someone accidentally exits the European Union.”
The decision has sparked debate, with some praising the committee for preventing a potential “Referendum-mania,” while others wonder if this move infringes on Cameron’s democratic rights to, well, roll the dice.
Critics suggest that the “Referendum Restraint Squad” might be just a group of people who had to endure one too many national debates. Proponents argue that maybe, just maybe, the nation can now get through a summer without being asked to make a monumental decision about its future.
As Cameron contemplates his newfound referendum-free life, one can’t help but wonder if he’s already brainstorming new and creative ways to influence the nation. Perhaps a podcast on the art of decision-making, titled “Cameron’s Choices,” is in the works. Only time will tell.