A French nun renowned for her swift and decisive action against climate protestors has been appointed as the new head of the Metropolitan Police. Sister Marie-Claire Dubois, famous for her “no-nonsense” approach to maintaining order, is set to bring a divine sense of discipline to the streets of London.

The decision to appoint a nun with a penchant for tackling unruly protestors may seem like an unusual choice, but the Home Office defended the move, stating that Sister Marie-Claire’s track record in keeping the peace was unmatched.

“Sister Dubois has a proven record of handling disturbances with grace and firmness,” said a spokesperson for the Home Office. “We believe her unique skills will be a blessing for the Met Police and the citizens of London.”

Sister Marie-Claire, sporting her habit and a stern expression, expressed her commitment to bringing order to the chaotic world of policing. “Just as I’ve dealt with disruptive elements in the service of the Lord, I shall now do so in the service of public safety,” she declared in a press conference, a crucifix dangling prominently from her belt.

The appointment has drawn both praise and criticism. Supporters hail it as a much-needed injection of discipline into the force, while critics argue that a nun might be better suited to leading a convent than the bustling streets of London.

As Sister Marie-Claire takes the reins, only time will tell if her divine intervention can keep the peace in a city known for its diverse and occasionally tumultuous protests. One thing’s for sure: the Met Police is in for a heavenly shake-up.