Some delegates preparing for COP28 are resisting the idea of holding the conference over Zoom, arguing that the virtual format may jeopardize their cherished taxpayer-funded perks.
“I mean, sure, saving the planet is great and all, but have they considered how this impacts our luxurious conference experiences?” lamented one delegate, sipping on a coconut water flown in from the Caribbean for that authentic tropical touch.
The proposal to switch to a virtual format to cut down on carbon emissions has been met with outrage from a subset of delegates who believe that the conference is not just about saving the environment, but also about saving them from the horrors of economy class flights and generic hotel buffets.
“I can’t possibly be expected to make life-altering decisions about the fate of the planet without the comfort of first-class travel and five-star accommodations,” argued another delegate, while being gently fanned by an intern armed with palm fronds.
The prospect of losing out on the extravagant swag bags, exclusive gala dinners, and the chance to collect as many reusable canvas bags as humanly possible has sparked a rebellion among a certain faction of delegates who feel their rights to opulence are being trampled upon.
“I signed up to save the world, not to sit in my pajamas in front of a webcam!” exclaimed a delegate, adorned in a suit that could probably solve world hunger if sold.
In response to the outcry, conference organizers are now considering compromise options, such as sending each delegate a personalized hologram of themselves enjoying the conference in a tropical paradise while they watch from the comfort of their homes.
As the debate rages on, one thing remains clear: some delegates are willing to go to great lengths to defend their right to a carbon-heavy, taxpayer-funded jaunt around the world, even if it means sacrificing the very environment they’re supposed to be saving.