Humza Yousaf, Scotland’s Justice Secretary and social media enthusiast, has announced a groundbreaking commitment to spend a whopping 5% of his time working on Scottish matters rather than flooding Twitter with passionate tweets about Palestine.
The revelation that life expectancy in Gaza surpasses that in Scotland seems to have prompted Yousaf’s sudden bout of introspection. Critics argue that this groundbreaking move to allocate a fraction of his time to domestic issues might just be the hero Scotland never knew it needed.
In a press conference, Yousaf declared, “I’ve decided to dedicate a groundbreaking 5% of my time to focusing on Scotland. It’s a sacrifice, I know, but it’s time I give a little attention to this underappreciated land.”
Sources say that Yousaf’s Twitter followers were initially puzzled by a sudden drop in his Palestine-centric tweets. However, the realization that he was, in fact, tackling Scottish issues shocked and confounded social media users, who were accustomed to his relentless advocacy for causes thousands of miles away.
Critics, however, remain skeptical. “Sure, 5% sounds impressive, but that still leaves 95% for tweeting about things that aren’t Scotland,” remarked one observer. “It’s a small step, but let’s see if it leads to tangible changes.”
Only time will tell if Yousaf’s bold move will indeed benefit Scotland or if it’s just a temporary diversion from his usual Twitter diplomacy. Regardless, the nation waits with bated breath to see if the newfound 5% focus will elevate life expectancy in Scotland to rival even the most optimistic projections for Gaza.