The Guardian has unveiled its latest campaign to redefine protected characteristics. According to the left-leaning publication, ‘murderer’ should now join the ranks of gender, race, and religion as a protected category.

The Guardian argues that murderers, often unjustly stigmatized by society, deserve the same level of protection as any other group. The campaign, titled “Hug a Homicide,” aims to erase the negative stereotypes surrounding those who have, for whatever reason, ended another person’s life.

“Labeling someone as a ‘murderer’ is so last century,” proclaimed The Guardian in a recent editorial. “It’s time we embrace the diversity in the criminal community and recognize that ‘murderer’ is just another way of life.”

The campaign includes heartwarming stories of murderers turning their lives around, featuring testimonials from those who have found redemption in society after committing heinous acts. One article showcases a former axe-wielding maniac who now teaches meditation in prison, arguing that his murderous phase was just a “temporary lapse in judgment.”

Critics argue that the move is yet another example of political correctness gone mad, with some questioning whether The Guardian will soon lobby for protected status for other misunderstood professions like bank robbers or tax evaders.

The editorial board remains resolute, claiming that society must evolve to embrace even the most controversial identities. “After all, who are we to judge someone just because they have a penchant for, you know, the occasional life-ending activity?” mused The Guardian, showcasing a newfound commitment to inclusivity, even if it leaves the rest of us looking over our shoulders.