In a groundbreaking (and freshly scented) update to biblical tradition, a new “Gay Bible” edition is set to hit the shelves, featuring Adam & Steve as the new poster couple for humanity’s beginnings. This revised version promises to bring biblical stories into the 21st century, complete with modern flair and fabulousness.

The decision to replace Adam & Eve with Adam & Steve has been hailed by some as a long-overdue nod to inclusivity, while others see it as a bold leap into uncharted theological territory.

“We wanted to offer a Bible that truly resonates with the LGBTQ+ community,” said the publisher. “And what’s more relatable than a couple picking out scatter cushions together?”

But the changes don’t stop there. The Three Wise Men’s gifts are getting a contemporary makeover, too. Gone are the gold, frankincense, and myrrh; in their place, we have scatter cushions for the perfect home decor touch, moisturiser for that radiant glow, and scented candles to set the mood for any occasion.

“We thought about what gifts would truly enrich the lives of new parents,” explained the editor. “And let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want a little pampering after a long journey on camelback?”

The “Gay Bible” aims to offer a fresh perspective on classic tales, infusing them with a sprinkle of modernity and a dash of fabulousness. While traditionalists may raise an eyebrow at these updates, supporters argue that it’s high time biblical narratives reflected the diversity of human experience.

As the “Gay Bible” prepares to make its debut, it’s sure to spark lively debate and perhaps even a few scented candlelit discussions about the intersection of faith, identity, and interior design.