The Creator of the universe, Almighty God Himself, reportedly cast a sorrowful gaze upon Scotland, pondering the state of affairs in the land of haggis and bagpipes. Witnesses claim that the Almighty let out a sigh that reverberated through the heavens as He lamented, “What have I created?”
The cause of God’s heavenly dismay? Recent developments in Scottish legislation that seem to have left even the Most High scratching His proverbial beard in disbelief.
First on the list of divine disappointments is the Scottish Parliament’s decision to redefine the very fabric of humanity by allowing the Adams to become Eves. Yes, you read that correctly. In a move that would make even the most seasoned biblical scholar raise an eyebrow, Scotland has embraced a brave new world where men can apparently wake up one morning and decide they’re women, and vice versa.
But the divine facepalm didn’t stop there. God’s divine disappointment reportedly reached new heights upon learning that Scots are now jailing each other for jokes. That’s right, folks. In a land once known for its rugged independence and hearty humor, making a jest that doesn’t meet the politically correct standards can now land you in the clink faster than you can say “freedom of speech.”
As the celestial sigh echoed across the Scottish highlands, theologians and comedians alike were left pondering the cosmic implications of a society that seems to have lost its sense of humor and its grasp on reality.
In response to God’s heavenly sigh, Scottish officials offered a collective shrug, insisting that progress must march forward, even if it means leaving the Almighty shaking His head in disbelief.
As Scotland continues on its quest for enlightenment, one can only wonder what other surprises await in this brave new world where the Adams can now be Eves, and people find themselves behind bars for daring to utter a joke. Perhaps it’s time for the Scots to look to the heavens for guidance once more and heed the divine advice: “Lighten up, lads. It’s just a joke.”
