In a surprising turn of events, it appears that “Nobody Watches GB News” – at least according to a group of self-proclaimed lefties who seem to have developed a peculiar obsession with the very network they claim to ignore.

In a world where media consumption is often treated as a battleground for ideological warfare, the lefties in question have taken a bold stance: they adamantly assert that they don’t watch GB News, and they do so while diligently analysing and critiquing every minute detail of the network’s programming.

“It’s really quite remarkable,” said one of these lefties, who spoke to us while simultaneously scrolling through GB News’ YouTube channel and jotting down notes on the various segments. “I mean, I absolutely, positively do not watch GB News. It’s a bunch of right-wing propaganda, and I would never subject myself to that kind of content. But let me tell you about the blatant bias I saw in their coverage last night…”

Another leftie chimed in, his eyes glued to his laptop screen as he commented on a GB News anchor’s choice of tie colour. “Honestly, I can’t believe anyone watches this garbage. Not me, of course. But there’s no doubt that they’re brainwashing the masses with their deceptive rhetoric. Oh, did you see Nigel Farage’s new hairstyle? I mean, I didn’t watch him get it on GB News, but someone shared a screenshot on Twitter.”

When asked about the apparent contradiction in their behaviour, the lefties argued that their meticulous scrutiny of GB News was purely for the purpose of “exposing its dangerous influence.” “We’re like investigative journalists,” one of them insisted, while scrolling through GB News’ Twitter feed to find material for a scathing takedown.

Experts are perplexed by this paradoxical phenomenon. Dr. Sarah Satire, a leading media psychologist, explained, “It seems these lefties have discovered the secret to not watching something while watching it intently. It’s a revolutionary technique that challenges our conventional understanding of media consumption.”

As we continued to interview the lefties, they continued to passionately condemn GB News for its alleged lack of credibility and its role in perpetuating divisive narratives. “I can’t believe people fall for this nonsense,” one said, his gaze fixated on a GB News panel discussion that he absolutely, positively did not watch. “But I’ll keep watching… for research purposes, of course.”

In the ever-shifting landscape of media discourse, the lefties who insist on not watching GB News have provided a masterclass in the art of simultaneously dismissing and engaging with content. Their dedication to critiquing a network they claim to ignore is nothing short of impressive, reminding us all that in the realm of media absurdity, truth can indeed be stranger than fiction.