Disney has announced its latest installment in the woke fairy tale series: “Snow White and the Seven Virtue-Signaling Dwarves.” This 2026 remake promises to take a beloved classic and turn it into a progressive parable of privilege and redemption.

In this modern adaptation, Snow White, portrayed by a self-aware CGI avatar, will confront her inherent privilege as a fair-skinned princess living in a castle. The film’s plot kicks off with Snow White attending a mandatory Anti-Racism Training workshop led by the wokest dwarf of them all, “Diversey.” Diversey, an outspoken activist dwarf, will educate Snow White about her unconscious biases, her problematic love for apples (which can be seen as cultural appropriation), and her lack of intersectionality in her friendships with forest creatures.

Of course, the iconic mirror-on-the-wall is also getting a reboot. In this version, the mirror will be equipped with AI technology programmed to remind Snow White of her privilege every time she gazes into it. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the most privileged of them all?” Snow White will ask, to which the mirror will reply, “You, Snow White, but you’re working on it.”

The Seven Virtue-Signaling Dwarves, reimagined as social justice warriors, each represent a different facet of woke culture. There’s “Eco,” who lectures Snow White on the environmental impact of her castle, and “Inclusivity,” who ensures that all creatures in the forest have their pronouns respected. “Activisty” leads the group, tirelessly organizing protests against the evil queen’s oppressive policies.

As the story unfolds, Snow White will embark on a quest for redemption, vowing to dismantle the monarchy, redistribute the wealth, and give voice to the marginalized forest-dwelling creatures. The climax of the film features Snow White taking a knee in front of the seven dwarves, symbolizing her commitment to the cause.

The film’s message is clear: even fairy tale princesses must confront their privilege and work towards becoming better allies. Disney hopes that this remake will inspire young audiences to attend their own Anti-Racism Training workshops and become socially conscious citizens.

So get ready for Disney’s most progressive princess yet, where “happily ever after” is not just about finding true love but also about checking your privilege and fighting for social justice.