It seems that Heathrow Airport’s long-awaited third runway is on track to receive planning permission “some time before the world ends.” The news has sparked both amusement and frustration, as the saga of expanding one of the world’s busiest airports takes a turn towards the apocalyptic.

Heathrow’s third runway has been a source of contention and debate for years. Proponents argue it’s crucial for the UK’s economic growth, while environmentalists claim it’s a ticket to climate disaster. Amidst this tug-of-war, the planning process has meandered like a lost passenger at a busy terminal.

Local resident, Timothy Grumbleton, shared his thoughts as he sipped a lukewarm cup of tea. “I’ve seen my grandchildren grow up, graduate, and have children of their own, all while we’re waiting for this runway approval. At this rate, I’ll be collecting my pension in Terminal 5.”

Critics suggest that by the time the runway finally gets the green light, climate change will have transformed Heathrow into a scuba diving destination, with “in-flight” entertainment replaced by “in-depth” marine biology lessons.

Heathrow officials remain optimistic, however, assuring the public that planning permission will arrive just in the nick of time, and the third runway will be the runway to end all runways. Until then, passengers are encouraged to pack their patience, as they may have to take a few laps around the airport before their flights take off.