MINEHEAD, UK — In a shocking turn of events, a group of asylum seekers staged a walkout from Butlins in Minehead after learning that the renowned Pat Sharp was scheduled for a DJ set. The unexpected protest left holidaymakers bewildered and management scratching their heads.
“I mean, who wouldn’t want a dose of ‘Fun House’ nostalgia?” questioned one perplexed Butlins regular, sipping a cup of lukewarm tea.
But the asylum seekers, known for their resilience and ability to endure adversity, were apparently not prepared for the ultimate test: a Pat Sharp DJ performance.
“We’ve survived unimaginable hardships, but this was just too much,” expressed one of the protesters, sporting a neon scrunchie as a symbol of unity. “We were expecting a safe haven, not a blast from the past.”
It appears the asylum seekers, instead of finding refuge, stumbled into a temporal vortex where mullets and neon were in vogue. Reports suggest they were unprepared for the whirlwind of 80s and 90s hits that transported them to a time when cassette tapes were a technological marvel.
Butlins management, attempting damage control, assured the remaining guests that the choice of DJ was an innocent oversight.
“We were just trying to create a festive atmosphere,” explained the bewildered manager. “We didn’t realize the cultural impact of Pat Sharp on the asylum seeker community.”
As the remaining Butlins attendees attempt to dance their way out of this unexpected conundrum, it’s clear that the power of nostalgia can transcend borders—even if it means some asylum seekers have to take an unplanned vacation down memory lane.