Labour Party leader Keir Starmer has announced the appointment of none other than Tony Blair as the Shadow Foreign Secretary. The reasoning behind the decision? A desire to keep up with the Tories’ apparent trend of resurrecting political relics.
“If the Tories can exhume a has-been former leader, why can’t we?” Starmer reportedly exclaimed, as the echoes of Blair’s “Things Can Only Get Better” played softly in the background.
Blair, who led the Labour Party to three consecutive election victories but left office amidst controversy over Iraq, seems to be relishing his return to the political limelight. “I couldn’t resist the chance to give the Tories a taste of their own medicine,” he said, flashing a trademark grin that sent shivers down the spines of some Labour traditionalists.
The announcement has sparked a mix of reactions within the party. While some view Blair’s return as a strategic move to tap into past electoral successes, others are dusting off their “Blairite Bingo” cards, anticipating a revival of New Labour buzzwords.
Conservative politicians, meanwhile, seem amused by the whole affair. “First Cameron, now Blair? Maybe they’re trying to form a coalition of the politically undead,” quipped one Tory MP.
As Blair takes on his new role, speculation abounds about which global conflicts he might diplomatically intervene in next, or whether his diplomatic prowess will be overshadowed by nostalgia for the era of flip phones and dial-up internet.
Only time will tell if Blair’s return will inject new life into Labour or if it’s simply a nostalgic attempt to relive the glory days when the iPod was cutting-edge technology and Blair was a fresh-faced Prime Minister. Either way, political satirists are sharpening their pens for what promises to be a theatrically Blair-esque encore.