An anti-racist TV personality has come clean about their precarious employment situation, confessing that their job security hinges on perpetuating the narrative that Britain is irredeemably racist.

“I tried pitching a show about the heartwarming acts of kindness Brits do every day, but they said it lacked the necessary drama,” the grifter disclosed, while wiping away imaginary tears with stacks of diversity training manuals.

In an industry where the demand for tales of systemic oppression seems insatiable, the TV personality admitted, “If I don’t find racism under every stone, my career is toast. No one wants to watch a show about people getting along. It’s a tough market out there for harmony.”

The grifter, who wished to remain anonymous to avoid cancellation by the cancel culture mob, explained the delicate dance required to stay relevant. “I’ve become an expert at turning a minor disagreement into a full-blown racial incident. It’s an art, really.”

The industry’s insatiable appetite for narratives that fit a particular agenda has created a surreal environment where the grifter has to keep inventing new ways to spotlight Britain’s alleged bigotry. “Last week, I turned a dispute over who gets the last office doughnut into a national crisis. It’s all about perspective,” they chuckled.

While this behind-the-scenes confession might shock some, others argue it’s a testament to the power dynamics in the media world. As long as the narrative of a perpetually racist society sells, the grifter’s job is secure.

So, brace yourselves for another season of manufactured racial tension, coming soon to a screen near you. After all, in the cutthroat world of anti-racist TV, the show must go on, even if reality has to take a back seat.