Rishi, our illustrious Prime Minister, has appointed none other than Theresa “Strong and Stable” May as the new Brexit Minister. Because when you’re navigating the choppy waters of Brexit, who better to steer the ship than the captain who got lost in the fog?
Sources close to 10 Downing Street claim that Rishi was inspired by May’s unyielding commitment to delivering Brexit during her tenure. “We need someone who truly understands the complexities, the nuances, and the art of kicking the can down the road,” said an anonymous insider, stifling a chuckle.
May, famed for her memorable dance moves and her uncanny ability to utter “Brexit means Brexit” without breaking into laughter, has reportedly accepted the position with the grace and poise that only she can muster.
“I am delighted to take on this role,” May declared, her robotic smile firmly in place. “I believe my experience will be invaluable in finding innovative ways to not get things done.”
The appointment has garnered mixed reactions. Some see it as a stroke of genius, harnessing May’s unparalleled talent for indecision as a strategic advantage. Others are left wondering if this is a brilliant political satire skit that accidentally made its way into the national agenda.
As May dusts off her “Brexit means Brexit” binder and prepares to once again navigate the labyrinth of EU negotiations, the nation holds its collective breath, wondering if this latest twist is a stroke of genius or just another episode in the never-ending Brexit sitcom. Only time will tell if May can finally unlock the mystery of Brexit or if she’ll be busy practicing her dance moves in Brussels once again.