The BBC has announced a new policy for muddy sports matches — they will now carry “blackface trigger warnings.” Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently, the Beeb believes the brownish smudges on rugby players’ faces could be mistaken for something far more controversial.

“It’s time we address the serious issue of mud masquerading as problematic paint choices,” declared the head of BBC’s Unusual Concerns Division. “We must protect the public from the potential confusion between rugby traditions and an ill-conceived Halloween costume.”

According to the new guidelines, before any match kicks off, a solemn announcement will be made, cautioning viewers that what may appear to be just mud on players’ faces is, in fact, not an attempt at offensive cultural appropriation. The BBC hopes this warning will prevent any misguided outrage and ensure that the nation can continue enjoying sports without the looming threat of scandal.

“I always thought it was just part of the game, you know, players getting down and dirty,” remarked one confused fan. “But now, thanks to the BBC, I realize I should be vigilant for any inadvertent face-paint controversies.”

Critics argue that the BBC’s move is another example of excessive political correctness seeping into the most unexpected corners of everyday life. “What’s next? Warning labels on cricket balls so people don’t confuse them with the Death Star?” quipped a sports commentator.

As the nation braces itself for a slew of pre-match warnings, one can’t help but wonder if the BBC’s newfound concern for muddy faces might eventually extend to a broader range of issues, perhaps even to the dangerous territory of grass stains being mistaken for eco-friendly camouflage. The saga of unusual trigger warnings continues, and in the world of muddy sports, it seems the Beeb is determined to keep us on our toes, or, more appropriately, our cleats.