The eco-warriors of Just Stop Oil apparently took their name a tad too literally when faced with the prospect of actual consequences. Reports confirm that the moment police started tossing them in the slammer, Just Stop Oil’s fervent climate activism hit a sudden and unexpected pause.
Eye-witnesses described the scene as reminiscent of a game of musical chairs where, instead of chairs, there were handcuffs, and instead of music, there was the faint hum of police radios.
“It was like they were playing a game of ‘freeze tag,’ but the moment someone yelled ‘you’re under arrest,’ they all just froze,” chuckled a bystander.
Just Stop Oil, known for their audacious protests that involve gluing themselves to roads, chaining themselves to oil pipelines, and generally making a scene, seemed unprepared for the concept of legal repercussions. It turns out that when the stakes went beyond Instagram likes and witty protest signs, the enthusiasm for climate activism took an unexpected dip.
“It’s a classic case of ‘just stop when it gets real,’ I suppose,” quipped a police officer who participated in the rather unorthodox game of stopping Just Stop Oil.
The group, who once claimed they would stand up against the oil industry until the bitter end, apparently discovered that the bitter end is significantly less appealing when it involves metal bars and a lack of avocado toast.
As Just Stop Oil members re-evaluate their commitment to the cause from the comfort of a holding cell, the rest of the world wonders if this unexpected hiatus will prompt them to add a new slogan to their repertoire: “Just Stop… Until It Gets Uncomfortable.”
