The Health Czar has once again issued a dire warning: “We have only seven days to save the NHS!” This urgent call to action comes from the very same individual who made the exact proclamation just seven days ago, leaving many to wonder if they should mark their calendars for a weekly NHS doomsday prediction.

“It’s like Groundhog Day, but instead of Bill Murray, we get a never-ending health crisis,” remarked a bewildered citizen. “Same time next week, when the NHS doesn’t close down?”

Critics are questioning the credibility of these repeated warnings, suggesting that the Health Czar might be stuck in a time loop or perhaps just enjoys the adrenaline rush of impending doom.

“Either we’re in a perpetual state of imminent NHS collapse, or someone needs a new calendar,” quipped a political commentator.

Despite the recurring nature of these warnings, the Health Czar insists that this time it’s different. “Last week was a wake-up call, but this week is a super wake-up call with bells and whistles,” they asserted, failing to clarify what distinguishes this week’s alarm from the last.

The public response has been a mix of skepticism and resignation, with many adopting a wait-and-see approach to the NHS’s alleged impending demise.

As the clock ticks down on this latest seven-day ultimatum, the nation braces itself for another round of dramatic headlines, impassioned speeches, and the perennial question: Will the NHS survive another week?

Stay tuned for the next episode of “Seven Days to Save the NHS,” coming soon to a news outlet near you!