In a stunning display of woke outrage, the Guardian newspaper has expressed fury that not enough “BAMEs nobody has ever heard of” were invited to the coronation of King George VII.

According to sources close to the publication, the lack of diversity in the guest list is a “slap in the face” to marginalized communities who have been fighting for representation in the monarchy for decades.

“How can we claim to live in a truly progressive society when the most important event in the royal calendar is still dominated by white, privileged elites?” fumed one unnamed Guardian staffer. “It’s outrageous that the King and his advisors didn’t do more to ensure that BAME voices were heard on this historic occasion.”

The article goes on to suggest that the guest list was deliberately curated to exclude people of colour, in a bid to maintain the monarchy’s “colonial legacy.”

“Let’s not forget that the British Empire was built on the backs of black and brown people,” the piece reads. “By excluding BAMEs from the coronation, the monarchy is perpetuating the same racist structures that allowed them to amass power in the first place.”

At press time, Buckingham Palace had yet to respond to the Guardian’s accusations, but insiders say that they are “disappointed” by the paper’s inflammatory rhetoric.

“Of course we want to celebrate the diversity of our nation,” said one royal aide. “But the coronation is a solemn and traditional ceremony that is steeped in history. It’s not a political platform for pushing woke agendas.”