Rishi Sunak was reportedly seen frantically checking his pockets, only to then recall that he is, indeed, incredibly rich and that, in the grand scheme of things, nothing really matters.
Eyewitnesses say Sunak’s eyes widened, and beads of sweat formed on his forehead as he patted down his suit, muttering something about “budgets” and “economic forecasts.” It was a fleeting moment of vulnerability for the man responsible for the nation’s financial matters.
“He looked genuinely distressed,” said one onlooker. “But then, he just shrugged and mumbled, ‘Oh right, I’m stinking rich.’ It was like watching a Shakespearean character realize they’re in a comedy, not a tragedy.”
In an exclusive interview following the incident, Sunak nonchalantly explained, “Sometimes I forget that I’m not like the regular folks worrying about bills and mortgages. Silly me. I’m just going to go back to my mansion now and contemplate whether to use the golden or diamond-encrusted spoon for my cereal.”
The Prime Minister’s brief moment of panic has sparked a wave of sympathy, or perhaps schadenfreude, from the public. Many are finding solace in the idea that, even in the highest echelons of power, there are fleeting moments of existential dread that can only be assuaged by the comforting embrace of unimaginable wealth.
As the news spread, memes depicting Sunak’s imagined journey from panic to indifference flooded social media, with captions like, “When you realize you’re not broke, just the economy is,” and, “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of calm indifference.”
In the grand comedy that is life, it seems Rishi Sunak has provided us with a moment of levity, reminding us that, for some, the world may be burning, but as long as your wallet is fireproof, everything will be just fine.