Local actor Chad Blankenship expressed his fervent desire for the seemingly unending wave of diversity in casting to subside, allowing him the opportunity to once again shine in the spotlight of a detergent commercial.
Blankenship, who once graced screens as the poster boy for stain-fighting power, now finds himself lost in a sea of inclusivity. “I used to be the go-to guy for scrubbing out tough stains, but now they want every color of the rainbow,” he lamented, surrounded by his extensive collection of crisp white polo shirts.
“I miss the days when I could be the heroic dad fighting spaghetti stains with a smile,” Blankenship continued, a nostalgic glint in his eye. “Now they want representation. What happened to representing the good ol’ clean-living American household?”
The actor, known for his ability to convey the emotional struggle of battling stubborn stains, is finding it increasingly difficult to secure roles as companies opt for more diverse and inclusive advertisements.
“I don’t mind diversity, but when will it end?” he pondered, gazing wistfully into the distance. “I’ve got a closet full of fresh, clean outfits just waiting for their moment to shine under the spotlight of a fabric softener commercial.”
Blankenship dreams of a world where detergent ads are once again dominated by individuals who, like him, navigate the treacherous world of spilled wine and grass stains with unparalleled grace.
As he awaits the return of the good old days, Blankenship has even considered starting a support group for actors like him, holding out hope that one day the industry will remember the profound impact a determined white guy can have on the cleanliness of a household.