Footballer and social advocate Marcus Rashford has announced his decision to replace his tactical tax evasion techniques with a more theatrical approach: diving to the ground and clutching his ankle whenever a tax inspector approaches him. This ground-breaking manoeuvre is poised to revolutionize the way celebrities handle financial scrutiny.

“I’ve always believed in using my platform to make a difference,” Rashford declared. “So, instead of dodging taxes, I’ll be perfecting my ‘tax inspection avoidance dive.’ It’s all about innovation, you know?”

This bold strategy has been met with mixed reactions. Supporters hail Rashford’s commitment to staying true to his roots on the football field, while critics accuse him of capitalizing on the drama of the beautiful game to sidestep financial responsibilities.

Tax inspectors, caught off guard by this unexpected twist, have been left grappling with their response to the newly devised evasion technique. “We’re used to tracking down financial discrepancies, not analyzing the authenticity of sudden ankle clutching,” one bewildered inspector confessed.

Rashford’s decision to embrace the dive-and-clutch approach has sparked debates about whether this is a genuine display of athleticism or a clever ruse. Financial experts are eagerly anticipating a new era of tax evasion techniques, where the line between financial strategy and theatrical performance blurs.

In an era of ever-evolving strategies for minimizing tax liability, Rashford’s innovative approach may be remembered as a game-changer in the realm of financial gymnastics. Only time will tell if this manoeuvre will gain popularity among other public figures or whether tax inspectors will successfully adapt to this unexpected twist in their pursuit of financial transparency.