In a festive twist that combines politics and panto, Sadiq Khan has taken on the role of Scrooge in the Labour Party’s Christmas production. Khan, known for his affinity for progressive policies, is set to deliver a performance that’s more “tax and spend” than “bah, humbug.”

The plot of this political panto revolves around Scrooge Khan, a politician who discovers the true meaning of Christmas – using taxpayers’ money for a multitude of well-intentioned but perhaps impractical projects. The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future are replaced by the Ghosts of Austerity, Wealth Redistribution, and Green New Deals.

In a press conference, Khan declared, “This panto is not just entertainment; it’s a political statement. We’re going to show that even Scrooge can embrace the joys of progressive taxation and government intervention!”

Reports suggest that Tiny Tim’s famous line, “God bless us, everyone!” has been replaced with, “God bless the welfare state and comprehensive public services!”

The production has already faced criticism from political opponents who argue that turning a beloved Christmas classic into a political spectacle is like wrapping coal in festive paper – not everyone’s idea of a holiday treat.

As the curtains rise on this political panto, audiences can expect a blend of Dickensian charm and modern-day political satire. Will Scrooge Khan’s heart grow three sizes, or will he propose a tax on Christmas presents? Only time will tell in this yuletide tale of politics and panto.