SNP Announce New Injectable Weight Loss Wonder Drug Called “Heroin”
SNP spokesman: “It’s a remarkable appetite suppressant and amputations still count as weight loss.”
HS2 Costs “To Exceed Entire Chinese Power Station Budget For 2023”
“Xi builds two power stations per week. No HS2 trains have left London. Euston, we have a problem”
Free “Trump-Style Mugshot” With Every ULEZ Ticket
Sadiq Khan bribes conservatives with “selfie sweetener.”
Channel Dinghies Praised By Labour As Example Of “Low-Carbon, High Density Commuting”
“65 passengers, one small outboard motor? It’s the future!”
Heathrow’s Third Runway “Due To Get Planning Permission Some Time Before World Ends”
Dept of Transport: “We can’t be any more specific at this stage.”
Revealed: RSPB Staff Made Up Entirely Of Great Tits
Leaked memo: “Being a Tory-hating Tit is essential for all staff members.”
New COVID Variant Named “Trump6/1/21” To Terrify Liberals Into Getting Boosters
Scientist: “TBH we just thought of the scariest name possible.”
ULEZ Blade Runners Voted TIME People Of The Year
“London’s camera vandals praised as “Robin Hoods for the 21st Century.”
Disney Remake Of “300” In Jeopardy As Scientists Reveal There’s No Way To Make It Any Gayer
A Disney spokesthem said: “we can maybe make them all black women instead?”
Democrats Announce Plans To Improve Democracy By Only Letting Them Vote For One Candidate Chosen By Them
Democrats have unveiled their groundbreaking plan to improve the electoral process. Their...
