Democrats have unveiled their groundbreaking plan to improve the electoral process. Their ingenious solution? Only allowing themselves to vote for a single candidate chosen by, you guessed it, themselves.
“We’ve been brainstorming ways to really make democracy shine,” said one Democratic strategist while sipping a soy latte. “And what better way than to streamline the process by just letting the experts, meaning us, choose the best candidate for the job?”
The plan, hailed as “Choice Limitation for a Brighter Future,” involves bypassing the pesky inconvenience of primary elections and instead relying on a panel of self-appointed Democratic officials to handpick the nominee. “It’s like Tinder, but for political candidates,” exclaimed another Democratic operative. “Swipe right for our candidate, or else!”
Critics have called out the plan as the epitome of party elitism, arguing that it effectively silences the voices of the very people the Democratic Party claims to represent. “It’s a stroke of genius,” chuckled one Republican strategist. “I mean, who needs all those voters weighing in when the experts can do the choosing?”
As the plan gains traction, some voters are left scratching their heads. “I thought democracy was about having choices and expressing our preferences,” mused one bewildered citizen. “But I guess the Democrats know what’s best for us. They must have taken a special course on mind reading.”
In an era where inclusivity and representation are often championed, the Democratic Party’s new approach to democracy seems to be rewriting the rules. As the nation watches this unprecedented experiment unfold, one can only wonder what’s next in the pursuit of “improving democracy” – perhaps a democracy-themed escape room where only politicians hold the keys?