Rwanda Declares Britain an Unsafe Country
Machete gangs & an excess of Hamas supporters prompts Kigali to act
Starmer Pledges to Double BBC Licence Fee “As a Thank You for Helping Labour Get Elected”
Sir Keir: “All of their tireless campaigning should rightfully be rewarded”
Hamas Agrees to Execute Pro-Palestinian Protestors Last When Caliphate Comes
Ayatollah: “We’ll thank them by letting them live slightly longer”
Irish Who Didn’t Want Hard Border During Brexit Suddenly Want A Hard Border Due To Asylum Seekers
Under-fire Irish Premier: “This totally isn’t the same thing”
Dinghies Stopped Overnight as Football Lads Deployed to Dover Beaches
“Asylum seekers took one look, and scarpered back to France”
Brits Unanimously Vote to Deport All Politicians to Rwanda
“We’ll even have a whip around for the airfare, lads!”
Jurgen Klopp to Play Harold Shipman in New ITV Drama
Kop gaffer’s “chilling and uncanny” similarity to Dr Death made him “natural choice for role”
Sadiq Khan Wins Thanks to “Miracle” Last-Minute Container of Postal Votes
Mayor: “We were slightly behind, then the boys from Tower Hamlets turned up…”
Hamas Withdraws from Gaza After Ceasefire Demand from Brighton Gender Studies Student
Hamas, the militant group in control of the Gaza Strip, has announced their withdrawal from the...
New Peppa Pig Stamps Declared “Islamophobic”
Imam Rages: “No Good Muslim Should Be Forced to Lick a Pig!”